I know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps.
Transitions are hard, especially when they seem to drag on and on. I had to turn in my final paperwork for graduation, so I came back to my favorite place on earth. I was a little disheartened to find that I don't really fit here anymore.I don't seem to fit anywhere right now. I have come to realize that life goes on when you leave. My friends at home have moved on, and now my friends at school have moved on too. And here I am, floating around until I know what's next for me. It is an interesting place to be, that's for sure.
For the last 10 months I have slowly but surely been working on an application for the International Mission Board to be a Journeygirl. I have completed everything and have been waiting to hear if they will invite me to the February Candidate Conference. I am beside myself to announce that I recieved a letter saying that I am invited! I can't believe that I am finally to this point. I thought the day would never come. The rest of the story is still uncertain, and whether or not I will get to go is still uncertain. But it is more likely now than ever before.
I have been looking back, and I can't help but see how the Lord has been preparing me -and my family too. I went to Africa for the first time, and my heart was changed forever. I came home and all I could do was cry when I tried to explain it all. I still can't explain it, but it began a great passion for going overseas. I came to Lakeview, which just so happens to be extremely devoted to equipping and sending missionaries. Through discipleship, I came to know the Lord and His Word like never before. He brought about great healing in my life and prepared me to disciple others. I worked for missionaries at the coffee shop, and spent many days talking about their experiences. There has just been so many things.
So, though this transition has been a struggle... I am thankful for it. It is this feeling of not fitting in that makes it easier to go somewhere completely different. I would dare say, that my car wreck is also something the Lord has used to help me with this decision. My grandparents offered to buy me another Civic for graduation. I struggled with this for a a few weeks and was so convicted that I could not accept it, even though I really wanted to. I knew that there was a possiblity of me going overseas. The car would either sit and not be used, or it would become a temptation for me to stay here. I had to ask myself if I was really willing to give up the car. Yes, I am. I still think I am crazy for doing it... but I have been crazy for reasons far less worthy. The car issue also opened the doors for me to talk with my grandparents about the possiblity of going overseas. I love my grandparents very much, and I know they worry about me. I wanted to spare them the worry and not tell them until it was necessary. To be honest, I was nervous to tell them. However, they responded in a way that I did not expect. My parents and my brother and sister have been the same way. They are all very supportive of my decision! I was so worried they wouldn't be. I know that all of this is the Lord's doing!
Over and over, God has confirmed my desire. I am so excited about whatever is next for me. May I never despise hard transitions. Who knows what the Lord may be preparing me for?
For the last 10 months I have slowly but surely been working on an application for the International Mission Board to be a Journeygirl. I have completed everything and have been waiting to hear if they will invite me to the February Candidate Conference. I am beside myself to announce that I recieved a letter saying that I am invited! I can't believe that I am finally to this point. I thought the day would never come. The rest of the story is still uncertain, and whether or not I will get to go is still uncertain. But it is more likely now than ever before.
I have been looking back, and I can't help but see how the Lord has been preparing me -and my family too. I went to Africa for the first time, and my heart was changed forever. I came home and all I could do was cry when I tried to explain it all. I still can't explain it, but it began a great passion for going overseas. I came to Lakeview, which just so happens to be extremely devoted to equipping and sending missionaries. Through discipleship, I came to know the Lord and His Word like never before. He brought about great healing in my life and prepared me to disciple others. I worked for missionaries at the coffee shop, and spent many days talking about their experiences. There has just been so many things.
So, though this transition has been a struggle... I am thankful for it. It is this feeling of not fitting in that makes it easier to go somewhere completely different. I would dare say, that my car wreck is also something the Lord has used to help me with this decision. My grandparents offered to buy me another Civic for graduation. I struggled with this for a a few weeks and was so convicted that I could not accept it, even though I really wanted to. I knew that there was a possiblity of me going overseas. The car would either sit and not be used, or it would become a temptation for me to stay here. I had to ask myself if I was really willing to give up the car. Yes, I am. I still think I am crazy for doing it... but I have been crazy for reasons far less worthy. The car issue also opened the doors for me to talk with my grandparents about the possiblity of going overseas. I love my grandparents very much, and I know they worry about me. I wanted to spare them the worry and not tell them until it was necessary. To be honest, I was nervous to tell them. However, they responded in a way that I did not expect. My parents and my brother and sister have been the same way. They are all very supportive of my decision! I was so worried they wouldn't be. I know that all of this is the Lord's doing!
Over and over, God has confirmed my desire. I am so excited about whatever is next for me. May I never despise hard transitions. Who knows what the Lord may be preparing me for?
1 comment:
yea! how exciting! love you!
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