Steward of Mysteries

Radical Salvation

"[The gospel] ...demands and enables us to turn from our sin, to take up our cross, to die to ourselves, and to follow Jesus. These are the terms and phrases we see in the Bible. And salvation now consists of a deep wrestling in our souls with the sinfulness of our hearts, the depth of our depravity, and the desperation of our need for his grace. Jesus is no longer one to be accepted or invited in but one who is infinitely worthy of our immediate and total surrender... We are saved from our sins by a free gift of grace, something that only God can do in us and that we cannot manufacture ourselves. But that gift of grace involves the gift of a new heart. New desires. New longings. For the first time, we want God. We see our need for him, and we love him. We seek after him, and we find him, and we discover that he is indeed the great reward of our salvation. We realize that we are saved not just to be forgiven of our sins, but we are saved to know God. So we yearn for him. We want him so much that we abandon everything else to experience him. This is the only proper response to the revelation of God in the gospel." -Radical, David Platt

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Cancer of the Soul

I have heard it said that sin is cancer of the soul.

I never fully understood what that meant until I moved in with Keith, Teresa, and Katelynn. For the past ten years, Teresa has been fighting cancer. She's had breast cancer twice, and last year discovered she had brain cancer. In response to her cancer, she has been through several rounds of chemo, full brain radiation, steriotactic radiation, two brain surgeries, and who knows how many other surgeries. The cancer has taken a toll on her body. The hard truth is, unless the Lord intervenes and takes away the cancer, the cancer will take her life.

The most precious thing to me, is the way Keith cares for Teresa. I can't imagine the heartache he must feel for his wife. He knows her better than anyone. He knew her before she walked with the Lord and he knew her before she had cancer. He watched her change from someone who was dead in her sin into someone who was given new life in Christ. He watched her change from someone with a perfectly healthy body into someone who was weakend and disabled by cancer. Her life in Christ and her battle with cancer seem to be oppostites -one a picture of renewal and one a picture of wasting away. The only difference though, is the realm in which they occur. Cancer is a physical picture of a spiritual battle. This spiritual battle occurs within the heart of every human being. It's our battle with sin. Sin truly is cancer of the soul.

For the husband is the

head of the wife as Christ

is the head of the church,

his body, of which he is the Savior.

-Ephesians 5:23

If cancer and sin are the same -one physcial, and one spiritual, I imagine Jesus must feel the same way for his Church as Keith feels for his wife. The Church is Christ's bride like Teresa is Keith's bride. The cancer that is invading Teresa's body is like the sin that is invading Christ's Church, both cause sickness and destruction to the body. The physical body and the body of believers.

Sin is destruction.

As Keith is broken over his wife's sickness, so Christ is broken over our sickness. As Keith, out of his deep love, exhausts himself to protect and care for Teresa, so Christ, out of his deep love, exhausts himself to protect and care for us. The difference there is, Christ exhausted himself to the point of death. The hard truth is, unless you believe that God has intervened and sent Christ to die for your sin, sin will take your life.

Only Christ can bring life.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though

outwardly we are wasting away, yet

inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

-2 Corinthians 4:16

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Basking in His Mercy

I had the priviledge of spending the day with a sweet, new friend. The journeyman going to Macedonia with me came to Birmingham. Hannah is her name. She has such a sweet and gentle countenance. I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for us. I think we will be good friends and I am very thankful for that. Hannah met with a former journeyman to Macedonia a few weeks ago. She gave Hannah a cd of the songs she listened to while she was there. The first song was written by one of her friends after visiting Macedonia. I think the words are beautiful and paint such a great picture of what it will be like:

She sits across the table. Stares in my eyes.

Her whole life, her uncertainty, she's trying to disguise.

How could You move over coffee and words from a sinner's lips and an unknown tongue?

I beg You to move passed my unworthiness, for this could be her only chance.

Only You. Yes, only You can move in me.

As Hannah and I were talking today, we came to the conclusion that our lives are about to change drastically. I think reality has set in a little bit for both of us. We are going to be the outsiders, looked at like we are strange, and undoubtedly struggle understanding what's being said around us. It will not be something we can come home from when it gets tough. That's our life for the next 2 years. It will be a great challenge, but I can't even begin to imagine how amazing the Lord will prove to be. Neither of us planned on going to Macedonia, but it is undeniably from Him. I can't help but bask in His precious mercy today. Oh what joy there is to be found in the presence of the Lord!

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Childlike Faith and a Broken Wing

Katelynn is on Spring break this week. We spent most of the morning sitting on the couch watching Spongebob. We were minding our own business when all of a sudden, we heard a loud thud. Something hit the glass door and fell to the ground. It startled us, so we both ran over to the door to see what it was. Lying on the porch was a little, yellow finch. My automatic response was, "Just leave him be, there's nothing we can do for him. He's not going to make it." Katelynn was bound and determined to help the little guy though. She was banging around trying to find her old Hermit Crab cage. Very annoyed, I yelled at her and kept insisting that there was nothing she could do. She was adamant though. She said, "You don't believe that God can heal him and I do, so I am going to help him!"

She put a towel in the cage, some bird seed, then went to get some gloves. I thought, "I might as well help her before she hurts herself, or further injures the poor bird." So, we got the bird in the cage and headed to Petco. We had planned to go to Old Navy so Katelynn could buy clothes with the money she had saved up. However, she decided to buy stuff to help the bird instead. She named him Oscarr De La Hoya. Well, she came up with Oscarr and I came up with De La Hoya. She bought him a heater, some baby bird food, and a syringe. We took him into the garage and got his new living space all situated. Then we held him and fed him out of the little syringe. He would swallow some food, then fling his head around to clean off his beak. He got bird food all over our clothes. It was actually kind of cute. I must say, he is a sweet little bird. He can't fly, but he seems to be okay otherwise.

Oh the lessons I learn from a 12 year old. She has childlike faith, such compassion, and was willing to sacrifice her savings for that helpless little bird. I am glad that while I was flailing around, paralyzed by my sin, the Lord didn't look at me and say, "Just let her be, there's nothing that can be done. She's not going to make it." Instead, he had compassion for me. He sacrificed himself for me. He saved me.

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. -Matthew 18:2-4

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The Lord will perfect that which concerns me... Psalm 138:8

Assuming the world is still spinning come October, I will be heading to Macedonia. It is still very surreal. Yesterday, I got an official "welcome" e-mail from the team that is already in Macedonia. Brian and Mandy are the couple that run the coffeehouse. I have been e-mailing back and forth with them for a few weeks now and have asked them all sorts of questions. One being about what the living situation would be like. Brian said that more than likely, I will have an apartment with internet and the amenities will be similar to what I have at home. The only adjustment I might have to make is using electric heaters in the winter because there is no heating system.

Readers, if you knew anything about my living situation last year, this would make you smile. My roommate and I thought it would be a good idea to move into this little old house near campus. It was cute as could be, but it had so many issues. Perhaps one day I will write a post about all of the funny stories that house produced. One issue being, it had no central heating or air. Window units in the summer and electric heaters in the winter. That house was right cold in the winter! So much so, that you could see your breath inside. We avoided showers if at all possible or went to a friends house... getting wet was out of the question. We often asked ourselves "What the heck were we thinking when we decided to move here?" The Lord knew what he had in store! I'm not saying that I am completely prepared for a Macedonian winter, however I don't believe it was a coincidence.

The Lord has been so sweet to me. When I first began filling out the journeyman application and looking at times to go to conference, my sister was in the process of planning her wedding. My biggest concern was that I would leave to go overseas and she would have a baby while I was gone. Well... due to the economic situation I got pushed back, and pushed back. And now, my sister is going to be having a baby in just a few weeks and I get to be there! Another secret concern I had, was that I would go overseas and have kid withdrawels. I love kids so much! Afterall, I have a degree in Elementary Education. As it turns out though, the family I am going to work with has a 2 year old and a 5 month old. How precious is that? I suppose that's all for now.

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and the verdict is....

*MACEDONIA*

I am beyond ecstatic! IMB called this morning, and I'm going to Macedonia to work at a coffeehouse and build relationships! Lord willing of course. What are my plans you ask? I go back to Virginia at the end of July for an 8 week training. I imagine my departure date would be within the first couple weeks of October. There will be two other girls going to Macedonia. One will be on my team and the other will be in a city nearby. The girl who will be on my team seems like a really sweet girl. I'm excited about getting to know her. Anyway, I guess that's that for now.

This is a picture of the city.

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Piercings and Cultural Experiences

Guess what I did today!

Alex and I have been talking about getting our noses pierced for about two years now. We finally did it today! We went to a place called Kolo Piercing.

It is located in Little 5 Points right outside of Atlanta. Little 5 Points in itself was a cultural experience. All kinds of people hang out there. Very interesting.

Getting the piercing wasn't bad at all! It made my eyes water and I sneezed a few times, but that's about it. Overall, a fun experience.

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